Those Dangerous Coconut Palms, Oh My!

Today's poll from The Citizen, Key West's long-standing daily newspaper prompts:

Key West plans to replace coconut palms along North Roosevelt due to liability. What replacement would you recommend?

A — Christmas palms. The red seeds are harmless unless you look straight up and they hit you in the eye.

B — Sabal palms, because they are the state tree and not very dangerous unless you hit them on your scooter.

C — Rubber trees, because they cushion the impact and bounce back when you hit them on your scooter.

D — Mango and avocado trees because they would feed the homeless and take the strain off the soup kitchens.

E — Just leave the coconut palms. There’s a greater risk of injury from tripping over drunks on Duval Street.

Chop and I have been seriously discussing our vehicle options, as we've decided that we likely won't keep both cars once we settle into our new Key West digs. As long as we maintain one truck for our 4-wheel-drive-towing-and-toting-capacity mama of a machine, we feel we can efficiently downsize to a scooter or motorcycle as our second vehicle. Fair trade. I do indeed feel a slight twinge of guilt at the idea of taking up so much space on a tiny island. However, with this latest concern along North Roosevelt, we may have to seriously reconsider our scooter option. Who knew one could get so terribly mangled in a rubber tree? I mean, really. Just sayin' ...